There is No Room for Selfishness
by sigyn-chi
Summary: Everyone wishes for happiness, for a little bit of selfishness. But she... believed there was no room for such thing for her. She realized it when she fell in love with him... 18FEM27, sequel/prequel of In A World Where We...


There is No Room for Selfishness

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Warning: Contains gender-bending, smut, AU-like storyline and 18FEM27…

_-The Time She Remembered Happiness-_

The first time she met him, he had saved her. It had been her first day in middle school and some upperclassmen thought she would be an easy target. With big caramel eyes, soft brown locks, a petite body that has yet to fully develop, she was the type of girl who wouldn't tell anyone. And she had been weak, weak enough that all she could do was cry as they pin her to the wall, ripping her shirt with a pocket knife. She had prayed to be saved, either by God or the Devil, she did not really care. Her prayer was answered when one of them fell down, blood gushing out of the wound on his head. They had screamed, begged for mercy as each one of them was eliminated by steel tonfas. She had heard them call his name in fear…

"_Hibari-san…"_

He had left her with only a disgusted look, not even bothering to cover her. Another man came after him, chewing on a leaf. He covered her with a big jacket, before placing a new uniform next to her. With a soft smile, the other man left, leaving her to cry and hold unto the jacket, cursing herself for her own weakness.

Her savior had probably hated her weakness… Seeing her as not even worth hitting…

She had learned about him from the gossips of the First Years. Hibari Kyouya, birthday: May 5, year unknown, third year, chairman of the Discipline Committee and head of the delinquents, known for his strict implementation of rules and regulations and, according to one of the girls she had asked, he had been ranked as one of the hottest guys in school but his violent nature made him unapproachable.

They had laughed when they joked that 'Useless Tsuna' wanted to learn more about him. She had always been 'Useless Tsuna', never 'Tsuna-chan', 'Sawada', or even 'Tsunaruhime'. She would be lying if she said it didn't bother her anymore but there was nothing that can be done. Her inquiry about him stopped when her classmates began to think that she was infatuated with him. And all of them had advised one thing: "Stay away from him."

She had known he was bad news. From the very beginning, from the day he had violently beaten the upperclassmen in front of her, she knew she should stay away. But the school had been small and their paths had intersected more than one wish to. Especially when that infant, Reborn, came and told her she was to become the Tenth Boss of a Mafia Family called Vongola. He had shot her with a bullet and the one thing she regretted the most was the fact she had yet to say 'thank you' to him. But the bullet had only lasted as far as she reached the gate entrance, kicking Mochida-senpai on the face for being on the way. The most popular girl in school, Sasagawa Kyoko, had run away in embarrassment and she became a laughing stock once more. But the worst part had been him. He had seen her wearing nothing but a soft camisole and boy-shorts. She wanted to die when he had said…

"The girl in underwear… class is starting."

She never wanted for him to see her again. But everywhere she went, he had been there. The match between her and the perverted Mochida-senpai with her as the prize, the volleyball tournament, even her lunch-breaks with Yamamoto and Gokudera had been turned to a time where she would catch a glimpse of him. But the harshest had been the meeting Reborn made. He had pricked her with his… was it a porcupine costume? She had forgotten. But there was something in the needles that made her dizzy. When she woke up, she had found herself in a comfortable couch. She could remember the fear that shook her entire body when she saw the battered forms of Gokudera and Yamamoto. She had rushed to their sides, shaking them softly, calling their names. She could not breathe when she had heard his voice from behind her.

"They won't wake up. I made sure of that." She had looked at him, for once, staring at his cold grey eyes. Her entire being trembled but she could not look away. He had defeated Gokudera and Yamamoto single-handedly. She knew he was strong. But now… she knew he was a monster. Her eyes widened as he approached her. She had closed her eyes out of reflex and felt him take both boys from her, dragging them to the window. She had asked why and he had answered with a smirk decorating his beautiful face…

"I need to take the trashes out." That's when Reborn came and shot her once more. This time, she had been wearing a simple white bra and panties. She had hit him with a slipper… a slipper that felt uncomfortably like Leon. He had dropped the boys and had glared at her, hissing, "Can I kill you?"

She had panicked then, her five minutes of bravery gone. So, Reborn stepped in, played with his violent nature and bombed the entire reception room. They had been saved and she had been more than angry at Reborn when he said it was for the three of them to be on their toes. The peaceful days were not going to last forever. She had been angry because her friends had almost died. She had been angry because… now, he, in no doubt, hated and disgusted her.

Their meetings had increased then. Having to fight him during the Athletic Fest, letting him see her messy room during the time she thought she killed a man and letting him see the blush that appeared on her face as he said he shall dispose of the _corpse_, sharing the same room with him during her stay in the hospital and waking him up by accidentally falling on top of him as she threw I-pin out of the window, and then there was the Valentine's Day Fiasco. All of her friends competed against each other for a chocolate _she _never made. Imagine their surprise when the chocolate went to him. But, thankfully, Reborn had been there to explain that the chocolate they had been vying for had been created by I-pin. Then she started to get a bit worried about herself after the snowball fight incident. She could still remember the smirk he had given her when he faked a throw at her. She had screamed at the top of her lungs, burying her head on the snow and ended up making a bigger fool of herself. On top of that, she had grabbed unto I-pin who she had only realized had a crush on him when she used her Pinzu-Time Super Bomb on all of them. Since then, she had been a bit uncomfortable with I-pin and the only thing that stopped it had been after the dojo incident where Kyoko's brother confessed to her that he may have fallen in love with Adult I-pin.

One of the most important meetings they shared may have been the Sakura viewing. She had started to get used to being shot by the dying-will bullets that she started wearing the short nightgowns her mother bought her when she realized that the dying-will does not strip them off. So, she fought him with another cleaning utensil which was weird even for her. Why does she always use cleaning utensils whenever she fought him? And, because of luck and Shamal's trident mosquito, he had kneeled before her… and she had unknowingly given him a free service as the wind had blown at the right moment and at the right angle that only he was given another _view _other than the Sakuras. She wanted to die then.

She knew her life was now like Alice in Wonderland after the Naito incident and his desolation bullet. She had been surprised when she had heard that Reborn had told him she wanted to join the Discipline Committee. She had been more surprised when she realized that he didn't seem to hate the idea. But what surprised her, the most, had been when she was spared the harsh beating he had given Naito after being shot by the Desolation bullet. But that didn't stop the fact that he just witnessed her at her most _desolated _and weakest state. She had met him during the summer festival. She forgot to thank him again when he helped them when they had been surrounded by the thugs who wanted the money they had worked hard for. And she had forgotten to thank him for not taking the money. But what she wanted to forget was the fact that he saw her in a pink bra and panties because she had to wear a yukata.

For as long as she could remember, she had always seen him as invincible, as a monster. But her meeting with Rokudo Mukuro proved her wrong. She could still remember how worried she had been, how her palm sweated, how her heart beat too fast for comfort, as she wondered and feared what had happened to him when he had learned about the hideout of those who dared meddle with his school. She felt like she could die as she saw him, battered as he dragged Gokudera to them. She wanted to hate herself as she proved to be useless once more and he had been the one to defeat Rokudo Mukuro. She wanted to hate herself as tears threatened to fall as she saw him fall down afterwards, rushing to his side and taking his unconscious body in her arms. She had cried, cursing her uselessness, as Mukuro forced his body to move and hearing him say how he had forced his broken body with only his will. She couldn't take any of it. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to protect those she loved. She wanted to protect him in times he could not… because… she knew, he was still human…

The joy of a peaceful life was short-lived. The appearance of her father had triggered it. She had been worried and ashamed, fearing on what he would say if he, by any chance, met her lousy-excuse for a father. She realized that her worrying should have not been in great importance as the boy named Basil came bearing gifts. She had been more than devastated when she learned that he had been chosen as a guardian as well. She didn't want to him in that state once more. She felt her heart broke each time one of her friends was beaten, each of them missing death by only an inch. But it had been her dream of his death that shattered her heart. She could not sleep and only her Dino-nii-san's comforting and confident words helped ease the pain in her heart. But she trusted his skills, trusted her Dino-nii-san's words, trusted in him. As she trained with Basil and Reborn during his battle, a part of her had been relief. She didn't want to witness the fight for she knew she would break down if she saw him get hurt.

She could not forgive Xanxus then. Xanxus had hurt her family, her friends, and his own father. Xanxus had dared harm him. She didn't want someone like Xanxus to be boss. Someone who could not even show concern for those loyal to him should not be a leader. She would not let Xanxus take Vongola. But her resolution had wavered when she had heard of the poison on each of her friends… on him. She had wanted to save them… to save him. But fighting Xanxus had to be done first. She had been surprised and relieved as she saw him safe, cured, during her fight with Xanxus. There had been no fear, no worry; she had just been completely relieved that he was safe. She didn't even doubt that he would help them. After all… he was human…

She never expected what would happen after the Ring battle…

Tsuna opened her eyes, moaning softly as she covered her form with the blanket Giannini had given her. She stared at the cold steel ceiling, suddenly feeling homesick. Outstretching her hand to the ceiling, her lips quivered and she tightly gripped the blanket tightly. She turned and covered her entire body with the blanket, shutting her eyes closed as tears threatened to fall. Being transported in the future, realizing she had died and that her friends and family is in danger, had taken a toll on her. She felt as if her wonderland had turned into a nightmare she could not wake up. And then… she met the future him…

Tsuna pulled the blanket down a bit and stared at nothing in particular. He had grown more beautiful, more dangerous… more… mysterious. Her heart had skipped a beat when he had greeted her with a smirk on his face. But she felt her heart break after she had gone to bed after the trial. He had been willing to let her die. Tsuna bit her bottom lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall once more. She had cried long enough after the trial. Clutching on the bed sheets, Tsuna let her eyes wander to the ring on her middle finger. As if adding fuel to the fire, she had seen the simple silver ring on his left ring finger. She could not even hide the fact that she was devastated when she first noticed it and Gokudera had only unintentionally rubbed it in.

"_That ring on the bastard's finger… who the fuck would be willing to marry someone like him?"_

Tsuna shook her head and buried her face on the pillow. How many nights have she wasted simply reminiscing her past? Sighing, Tsuna pushed herself of the bed. Dragging her body, wearing a nightgown obviously larger than her, Tsuna began to walk slowly towards the kitchen. With a tired sigh, she poured water to a glass and drank the content greedily, her throat and lips welcoming it. She had placed the glass neatly by the sink and had begun to drag her body back to bed when she heard voices just outside the kitchen. Feeling curious, Tsuna leaned on the door as she caught the conversation.

"Why should we keep this a secret from Tsuna-nee?" she heard Fuuta asked.

"There is no need for her to know. This entire thing is already taking a toll on her." She heard Reborn reply. There was a soft tapping sound, as if someone had took a few steps.

"Tsunaruhime is not to be informed of _that_." She heard him hissed dangerously. She could feel her heart beat faster as she realized that she had stumbled across something she should not. What were they hiding from her?

"B-But… Hibari-san, don't you think she has the right to know?" Fuuta asked once more. She winced as she heard the sound of steel hitting steel.

"It does not matter." He hissed once more.

"Being engaged to Hibari-san does not matter?!" Tsuna gasped as she heard Fuuta's declaration. She felt like her heart would explode, her entire face burning, as she tried to process the idea that her future self had been engaged to him. Clutching her chest, Tsuna tried to calm the loud beating of her heart. If what Fuuta said was true, then why was he avoiding her? Why was he willing to kill her?

"It does not matter because she had betrayed me." Tsuna's eyes widened as she heard him hissed, louder and angrily. All she could do was listened as the conversation continued.

"There are some things that they should not know, Fuuta. Keep this a secret." She heard Reborn softly order.

"I won't say anything… but…" there was a pause before Fuuta continued, "I still think Tsuna-nee has the right to know why things happened this way."

Tsuna held her breath as she heard footsteps, slowly fading away. When she could no longer hear the footsteps, Tsuna opened the door to the kitchen and stepped outside…

Only to come face-to-face with him…

"HHHHHHIIIIIIIII!!" Tsuna squeaked, losing her balance, stepping on the overly large nightgown by mistake. She landed on her butt, the skirt flying, giving him another free service. The loud thud echoed across the empty hallway, making Tsuna cover her face in embarrassment. Why is it that she always makes a fool of herself in front of him?

"Sawada Tsunaruhime…" he hissed, walking towards her slowly. She tried to pick herself up but stopped when he crouched next to her, his face uncomfortably too close to her burning face. She felt fear shook her entire being as his eyes clearly showed his displeasure and anger.

"H-H-Hibari-s-sa-san…" Tsuna couldn't form any coherent words and all she could do was stare at those grey eyes that threatened to steal her soul.

"How much did you hear?" he asked, hissing dangerously at her. Tsuna gulped and looked away, trying to find a way to lie to him. She gasped as he placed a cold hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at his eyes once more, "Do not dare lie to me, Tsunaruhime."

Tsuna's bottom lip quivered and she softly whispered, "We… we… we're engaged, Hibari-san?"

His displeasure disappeared, but his anger remained. Tsuna's eyes widened when he abruptly stood and started to walk away from her. This time, she stood and called out, "Hibari-san!"

He did not look back…

She didn't know why but she ran towards him. She ran and grabbed unto his yukata, tears threatening to fall as she asked, "Hibari-san, were we truly engaged? Hibari-san! Please, tell me!"

Tsuna gasped as her shoulders were roughly grabbed and she was pinned to the steel wall. Tsuna continued to stare at him, unable to look away as he hissed, "And what will you do with that information, Tsunaruhime? Will you change? Or do you think I will go easy on you if you keep reminding me of that fact?"

Tsuna shook her head violently. She never imagined him to change even if he did tell her about the relationship they shared. She just… she just… "I just… want to know…"

The bruising hold on both of her shoulders loosened and she heard him say so softly it almost didn't sound like him, "We _were _engaged, Tsunaruhime. The day of the trial… that was the day we had agreed upon."

Tsuna's eyes widened as she stared at the man in front of her, "Hibari-san…"

"But…" Tsuna winced as his hold became tighter once more, threatening to break her, "You dared lie to me. You dared meet with those Millefiore when you had sworn you would not. Tsunaruhime, you willingly let yourself get kill and you had _lied _to _me_."

Tears began to fall from her eyes as she understood the words he had uttered to Fuuta a while back…

'_She had betrayed me…'_

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, clutching unto his yukata. The tight grip on her shoulders did not relent but she didn't even feel it anymore. All she could feel was the pain in her heart. Although she knew her future self probably had a real reason why she had betrayed his trust, she would not be able to actually know the reason why. She felt his hands leave her shoulders and she shivered as she felt his cold hand take both her cheeks, unexpectedly gentle. She opened her eyes slowly and stared at his grey eyes, wondering what he was thinking at the moment.

"Why…?" he had whispered. She closed her eyes once more, unable to answer. She gasped as he was pulled towards him, his arms holding her tightly, possessively. She leaned unto his touch, unable to deny him.

'_He's not holding you… he's holding the one he acknowledges as you…' _a voice inside her head reminded her. She knew that. She knew that…

Tsuna clenched her fists on his yukata as he began to softly whisper words that she dared not dream to hear from him: promises, declarations, sweet words that one only tells the one that person loves. She knew that he was holding unto the woman she would become ten years from now. She knew that he was talking to the woman he acknowledged as Sawada Tsunaruhime… the woman he was suppose to marry.

"Tsunaruhime…" Tsuna dared not open her eyes as he whispered her name with unexpected gentleness, unneeded longing, and unmasked affection. Tsuna felt his cold lips against her, his arms continuing to hold her possessively.

More tears fell from her closed eyes, damping her cheeks. Her first kiss was not romantic, was not nice, and was not sweet. It had been a longing kiss…

A kiss… meant for her future self… not for her…

_-The Time She Stopped Dreaming of Happiness-_

When they had managed to return to their own time, Tsuna had been haunted by the thought of that future… by the thought of his future. She had accepted her role as the Tenth Boss of Vongola. She had wanted to protect her friends, her family, from that future. She had wanted to protect him. And the only way to do that had been to ensure that _that future _never occurs.

She had asked the Ninth to monopolize Verde and his companions during their research of the rings and boxes. Although it did not stop the other families from acquiring rings and boxes, it did ensure that Vongola would have the strongest of those boxes. She did not destroy the rings, letting her guardians have them. She had ensured that a vaccine be made for the Arcobaleno to counter the effects of the Negative Seven Rays. She had gained Vongola's and Varia's trust and loyalty. She had been able to coerce the Vendicare to release Mukuro and, that in return, she received her cunning Mist Guardian's loyalty. But her greatest achievement had been her greatest sacrifice.

He had proved to be stubborn and it did not help that Reborn would not let her take his Vongola Ring of Cloud and look for a replacement. The infant had said that he would be Vongola's most valuable shadow and the Ninth had rejected her wish for him to not be part of Vongola. So he became her official Cloud Guardian. And she could not deny his efficiency, his undeniable strength, and his unparallel power. But she knew that if, _if, _there was the possibility that her death was inevitable, she would at least spare him the pain she felt coming from the future him that she had encountered. That's why she stayed far away from him as much as she can. She would ask others to relay her messages, her orders, to him. It would usually be her Sun Guardian that she would ask to relay her message. It had worked. Not once had he said her name the same way his future self did, not once did she felt him touch her in any way that may be proved to be dangerous. They were strangers; their relationship farther than it had previously been since he had saved her from those upperclassmen more than five years ago.

She knew she should be happy. This way, she kept reminding herself, he would not be affected if she would die. But…

'_Why does it have to hurt this much?'_

Nine years have passed and she could not stop the merging of Giglio Nero and Gesso. Nine years have passed and Millefiore had been a threat to Vongola. They have yet to truly attack but Tsuna knew it would only be a matter of time before they did.

Nine years and four months have passed when she received an invitation that asked her to meet with the Boss of Millefiore in a local restaurant in Venice. She had accepted the invitation and came to the restaurant with Reborn and Xanxus as her bodyguards. Byakuran did not really expect her to come with such frightening bodyguards but did not pry on that issue. He had began to make small talks and Tsuna did not want to spend more time than necessary with the person who killed her in that future. She had ordered Byakuran to tell her the real reason why she was invited. She had not expected Byakuran's reply…

"I wish for you to marry me, Vongola Decimo-hime."

Needless to say, even Reborn and Xanxus had been unable to hide their surprise. That's when Tsuna realized. Her future self had rejected Byakuran because she had been in love and engaged with him… But Tsuna was not. She was not engaged to him. She barely even truly knows him. But…

She was still in love with him…

"Yes… I will marry you… Byakuran-kun."

Her guardians had been more than furious. Gokudera had wanted to order the entire Vongola to kill Byakuran. Yamamoto had asked, with a smile in his face, if he would be allowed to even just castrate Byakuran. Ryohei had wanted to extremely beat Byakuran till he was extremely dead. Lambo had cried and cried, hugging Tsuna and pleading that she calls the wedding off. Mukuro had nicely asked if he could order the rat he had planted in Millefiore to kill Byakuran as soon as possible. Chrome had joined Lambo, hugging her _big sister _and boss, and pleading for her not to go to Millefiore.

Tsuna had only smiled and whispered to them, "I've made up my mind. Please… if you truly love me, please accept this."

Those words were magic. Her guardians had stopped their scheming and had all promise that they would not do anything to Byakuran as long as Tsuna does not give the order. They had left her alone, Ryohei promising to tell Hibari for her. She had entered her room and locked the door. Once she was on the bed, tears fell once more. Happiness… Happiness was not something she can have. She gave it up long ago… when she made sure he would never be close to her.

But…

'_Why am I still in love with you?'_

A sudden sharp knock on the door took her out of her self-loathing. Tsuna tiredly opened the door, not minding if she looked like a hag in front of whoever had been knocking. No words could express her surprise when she saw the man on the other side of the door.

"Hibari… san…?" Tsuna choked out, her throat dried from the crying. He had been outside, wearing his usual Mafia attire and looked at her with a frown.

"Sawada Tsunaruhime… you look awful." Tsuna let out an empty chuckle, opening the door for him to come in. He closed the door behind him, staring intently at Tsuna. Her hair was in disarray, her eyes red and her clothing were creased, her top two buttons unbuttoned letting him see a bit of her breasts.

"Is there anything you want from me, Hibari-san?" Tsuna asked, pouring herself a glass of water. He walked towards the picture on top of her drawer, taking the picture she had been forced to take by Reborn.

"I heard from Sasagawa Ryohei that you are to marry that herbivore boss of Millefiore." He had said, staring intently at the picture. Tsuna clenched the glass tightly and looked away.

"It's… It's the only way we can avoid a war." She whispered, sounding as if she was actually telling it to herself. He looked at her.

"Are you saying that you think we will lose?" he had hissed. Tsuna shook her head violently.

"I didn't mean that."

"Are you saying I will lose?" he hissed once more, walking towards her. Tsuna turned around to face him.

"I did not mean that!" Tsuna yelled.

"Then why?" he hissed once more, grasping Tsuna's wrist harshly. Tsuna bit her bottom lip, closing her eyes. She looked away and whispered softly.

"It's not really any of your business, Hibari-san. You have no rights to question my decision…" she said, her free hand gripping her slacks tightly that her knuckle was white, "You lost that right when you accepted your role as my Cloud Guardian."

"Why…" his hiss became a whisper that Tsuna could not believe what he said after, "… why do you not look at me?"

Tsuna gasped as he forced her to look at him, closing her eyes, "Why do you avert your eyes when you speak to me?"

'… _because I will not be able to keep it inside if I did…'_

"Why do you not speak to me?"

'… _because I will not be able to stop myself from telling you how I truly feel…'_

"Why… why do you deny me?"

'… _because I love you…'_

"Tsunaruhime…" Tsuna's eyes opened as she heard him whisper her name… with unexpected gentleness, with unneeded longing, and with… unmasked affection.

"No… No…" Tsuna shook her head, tears falling once more. She had tried to push him away, tried to bury the thought that he had actually said her name in that way. He kept his hold on her wrist, holding both of them.

"Let go! Hibari-san, let go!" she screamed, wishing against wish that she was just dreaming. Wishing that the gods were just playing with her, letting her taste the happiness she would never truly have. The happiness she must not have.

"Why do you not look at me?!" she stopped when he had yelled, pinning her to her bed. She stared at his grey eyes, unable to deny the emotions that played in them. And Tsuna saw one emotion she wished did not exist in him for it would mean her happiness.

"I did everything they required me to. I killed, I destroyed… I did everything. Not once did you look at me. Not once… did you smile at me." He whispered, clutching the sheets.

"Tsunaruhime… why?"

"Because… Because…" _I love you… _"I hate you."

Tsuna wanted to kill herself as she saw the pain in his eyes. She wanted to die when she saw how his eyes looked at her, silently asking 'why?' over and over again. Tsuna looked away and whispered, "Get out."

He did not move. Tsuna gripped the sheets tightly, clenching her eyes out as she yelled, "I said… Get OUT!"

"Understood." He had said impassively, getting up and leaving. He closed the door loudly. After he was gone, Tsuna cried once more, clenching her hurting heart. That night… Tsuna could not sleep as her heart continued to ache. The pain grew each passing moment… until she couldn't feel it anymore. That night… Tsuna's heart stopped.

A month before her wedding, Vongola held a party in her honor. It was simply a façade. All of them did not want her to marry Byakuran but no one could stop her. Tsuna smiled at them and they smiled back. She knew all their smiles were fakes and she had joined her guardians in drinking the entire night away. The alcohol made her feel a bit better… but also left her incapacitated. Everyone had been more than wasted… all except one.

Hibari hated liquors. That's why he never drinks… _never_. After his last encounter with Tsuna, Hibari had kept his distance. But the Sun Guardian had been persistent and had dragged him to the god-awful party that consisted of only what could have been a year-worth of liquors. He had been surprise when Tsuna had drunk more than she should. And when the Princess of Vongola was drunk, she tends to say things that she should not say… things that were offensive and were considered to be her bottled emotions. So he took it upon himself to carry the drunken woman back to her room. Who knows how many drunken Mafiosi were just about ready to jump her? Carrying her had been the hard part… especially when she clung unto him like a leech.

"Sawada Tsunaruhime… loosen your hold or I'll bite you to death." He had threatened as he opened the door to her room. Instead of loosening her hold on the man, she actually tightened her hold, almost suffocating him. Hibari growled and ordered once more, "Let go, Sawada Tsunaruhime. We're in your room already."

"If I let go… Happiness will be gone…" she had whispered.

"Oh? And I guess I hold your happiness?" he had sarcastically asked, humoring the drunken woman. He pried Tsuna's hold on him and placed her on the bed, taking off her shoes. Tsuna moaned and grabbed one of his hands, forcing him to look at her. Hibari felt his eyes widened as he saw Tsuna smile at him for the first time in so many years. But he did not expect her smile.

It had been sad… It had been heartbreaking…

"Hibari-san… is my happiness…" she whispered. Hibari felt her hand touch his cheek softly and she asked with glassy hazel eyes, "Can… Can I be selfish… just this once?"

Hibari was not given the time to answer as she kissed him. Her kiss had been soft, the taste of vodka and gin present in it. But Hibari tasted something that tasted similar to honey… a very addicting taste of honey. She opened her mouth willingly, gripping his jacket tightly, as if not wanting to let go. Hibari wrapped his arms around her, unable to deny her, unable to stop. He hungrily tasted her, falling addicted to the sweet taste of honey, as his hands greedily ripped her clothes. Tsuna moaned as Hibari began to suck her ear, his hand massaging one of her breast while his other hand tightly gripped her waist.

"Hibari-san…" Tsuna moaned, closing her eyes as Hibari's lips traveled down. Hibari licked her free nipple, enjoying the soft moan that Tsuna made. He began to suck her breast as his hand massaged the other, urging it to harden. Tsuna moaned and caressed his black locks.

It wasn't enough. Not for Hibari. He began to travel his lips lower, enjoying each moan and whimpers she gave him. His free hand touched her knee briefly and she willingly spread her legs for him. Hibari closed his eyes, tasting her once more.

"Hibari-san!" Tsuna moaned loudly as Hibari began to lick her. If her lips had been tasted like honey, she had tasted sweeter down there. Tsuna began to moan louder as Hibari began to lick her clit as one of his fingers entered her. Tsuna threw her head back, moaning shamelessly as Hibari inserted two fingers inside her as he continued to suck and lick her.

"Hi-Hi-Hibari-san!" Tsuna moaned his name loudly as she came, overflowing Hibari with her juice. Hibari withdraw his fingers and crawled back towards her, kissing her once more. Tsuna tasted honey in his mouth. Hibari spread her legs wide once more, staring intently at her.

"It would be your first, correct?" he asked. Tsuna nodded and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes.

"Please…" Tsuna whispered, tears threatening to fall once more. Hibari nodded and kissed her ear before entering her slowly.

"AH!" Tsuna screamed in pain, hugging Hibari tightly as she felt him enter her. All she could feel was pain. But the pain had been bearable… more bearable than the pain in her heart. Hibari stopped and let Tsuna get used to the feeling. Tsuna hugged him tightly and whispered, "I'm ready…"

"No… you're not." Hibari hissed, holding her tightly as well. Tsuna smiled and closed her eyes.

"Hibari-san… please…" Hibari closed his eyes and thrust once. Tsuna threw her head back, unable to stop the moan as both pain and pleasure shook her entire being. Hibari began to thrust slowly, staring intently at Tsuna with half-lidded eyes. Hibari took Tsuna's hand and kissed it gently, gaining speed.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Tsuna moaned as the pain slowly fade away as Hibari continued to thrust faster. Before long, both of them had lost themselves in the pleasure. Hibari grabbed Tsuna, kissing her as he played with one of her breast.

"Hibari-san!" Tsuna moaned, throwing her head back once more as she grabbed unto Hibari. Her entire body raked with pleasure and she knew she was near once more. She also felt him near as well. Tsuna kissed Hibari on the lips, whispering softly.

"Please… inside me…"

Hibari nodded in understanding and kissed Tsuna once more, thrusting deep inside her.

"Hibari-san!" Tsuna moaned, coming once more. Hibari groaned as Tsuna's warm juice flowed, losing himself as well. Tsuna felt him come inside her, filling her with warmth. Hibari fell on the bed, possessively hugging Tsuna. Tsuna smiled and leaned to his embrace, whispering softly…

"Thank you…"

The following morning, Tsuna left to live in the base of Millefiore in Italy where she would stay until the wedding. The following morning, Hibari appeared before Reborn and Reborn knew…

He could no longer keep Hibari in the dark…

Nine years and ten months… the exact date Tsuna had been transported to the future, she sat on a chair and stared at her reflection. She wore a white sleeveless wedding gown and the only thing that kept the entire dress together had been the ribbon on the back. She wore long lace gloves that itched and white high heels with ribbons. Her hair was done in a neat bun, a veil placed on her, decorated by white lilies. Her bouquet was white lilies as well… Tsuna closed her eyes, forcing herself to choke down the tears that tried to fall. Her make-up had been water-proof but she didn't want to cry.

A month has passed and she was still in love with him. She knew what happened that night truly happened and, to her, it had been the only selfish thing she had ever done since her return from that future.

Nine years and ten months have passed since then and she was still alive…

But… she was not happy.

There was no room for selfishness.

The door opened and Tsuna put on her fake smile. It was Uni, the leader of the Black Spell. During her time with the Millefiore, this was the first time she was alone with Uni. Uni, who had always been emotionless like a doll, looked at Tsuna and smiled sweetly. Tsuna was taken back and could only watch as Uni closed the door and went to her side, that sweet smile never leaving her face.

"So… Hime-chan, are you ready?" she asked innocently. Tsuna smiled and nodded.

"I am."

"What are you going to name him?" Uni asked. Tsuna blinked.

"I'm sorry?" Tsuna asked. Uni giggled and placed a hand on her stomach.

"Well, I guess you two will have to think about it together." Uni giggled and looked back at Tsuna.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Uni-sama?" Tsuna asked, earning a serious look from Uni.

"I wish for you to give this to someone." Uni said, showing Tsuna a box with a letter next to it. She placed it in Tsuna's dress and smiled, "When your real path appears before you, please give this to a man named Gamma."

"Gamma? As in the Black Spel-"

"Hime-chan…" Uni smiled once more before leaving, "Millefiore is not as united as it seems."

With that said, Uni closed the door, leaving Tsuna perplexed.

Real Path? This is the only path…

The wedding ceremony had been the worst part. He was not there but she expected that. He probably hated her. She could clearly see the hatred and disapproval each and every member of Vongola gave. Her own father had refused to walk her down the aisle, giving it to the Ninth. Tsuna closed her eyes.

This was for the best…

There is no room for selfishness…

"I, Sawada Tsunaruhime, take thee, Byakuran, to have, and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till dea-"

"TSUNARUHIME!!" all of them looked at the two grand doors and gasped. Tsuna felt tears began to threaten to fall once more as she recognized the black locks, the grey eyes…

"Hibari-san…" Hibari looked at her and reached his hand out.

"Take my hand." Tsuna shook her head and looked away. Byakuran was looking at her, a bit surprised at the appearance of her elusive cloud guardian.

"No… No…"

"There's nothing wrong in being selfish!" Tsuna bit her bottom lip, gripping the bouquet tightly.

"Tell me… Tsunaruhime. Order me if you wish. Just… tell me what you desire… what you want." She heard him say, his voice gentle, soft, affection, "Tell me… and I shall do it."

"Tsu-hime, tell him to leave." Byakuran ordered, smiling at her. She looked at Byakuran and then at Hibari.

"Just tell me… what you want…" she saw the conviction. If she was to say: 'leave', he would. He would do anything she asked.

_Forget me…_

Tsuna shook her head. Was this what she wanted? Was this what she truly wanted?

No… it's not.

She saw Uni close her eyes and a ghost of a smile appear on her lips. She mouthed silently.

_Happiness…_

Tsuna looked back at Hibari. With tears falling on her eyes, she dropped the bouquet on the floor, "I want… I want…"

… _to be happy…_

… _to be selfish…_

"I want to be with you, HIBARI-SAN!!" Tsuna yelled, causing the Millefiore Mafiosi to gasp. Hibari smiled and yelled.

"Then marry me!"

"Yes!" Tsuna yelled back, nodding as a bright smile appeared on her tear-filled face. She threw her shoes off and ran towards him.

All of the Vongola Mafiosi stood and Gokudera shouted, "You HEARD the PRINCESS!! Mukuro!! CHROME!!"

Mukuro and Chrome nodded and filled the entire church into an illusion of lotus flowers holding each Millefiore Mafiosi in place. When Tsuna was safely in Hibari's arms, Hibari held her bridal style and ran outside. All the Vongola Mafiosi followed suite, Gokudera, Chrome and Mukuro being the last. As Chrome and Mukuro stopped their concentration and ran outside, the illusions disappeared. Gokudera looked back at the Millefiore Mafiosi and frowned, "As much as I hate that bastard, he's a better choice than you."

With that said, Gokudera threw uncountable dynamites at them and ran outside as well. By the time the Millefiore Mafiosi got outside, no trace of the Vongola was left.

After such a long time, Tsuna finally laughed out loud. As they ran back to the Vongola Mansion, she laughed, holding unto Hibari like a kid who can't let go of her favorite stuff-toy. When they reached the mansion, Reborn and her father had been outside, waiting for them. Reborn was wearing a priest-attire while her father was holding a bouquet of red and white roses on his hand. Hibari gently set her down and her father handed her the bouquet, smiling proudly at her. Iemitsu looked at Hibari and said, "Take care of her, Kyou-kun."

Tsuna knew she was crying again. Soon, the entire Vongola Mafiosi were outside, lined up as if they were in a church with no sits. Haru turned her hair to a messy bun, more fitting on her than the neat one they gave her. Kyoko gave her white boots which she loved. Yamamoto had grinned as he shredded her dress, making the lower part look more wing-like. Basil and Dino gave her a new veil, longer and more eccentric. I-pin had replaced her itchy gloves with soft lace bracelets. And Fuuta came, holding two simple silver rings with a line of gold etched in the middle of each ring.

"These rings have served as the rings given to each Vongola boss and his or her other half. Each is engraved with the words, _"In Vongola, I swear my love for you is eternal"_. These rings will serve as a reminder that the entire Vongola have recognized and supported your choice, Vongola Decimo." Reborn professionally state and he proceeded to the wedding ceremony… Vongola style.

"I, Hibari Kyouya, take thee, Sawada Tsunaruhime, as my lawfully wedded wife, and as my one and true sky, to have, and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and I swear, to Vongola, that I shall gladly lay my life for you, and death shall not make me forget of my love for you, my sky."

"I, Sawada Tsunaruhime, Vongola Decimo, take thee, Hibari Kyouya, as my lawfully wedded husband, and as my one and true love, to have, and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and I swear, to Vongola, that I will forever trust you and your love, and death shall not make me forget of my love for you, my guardian, my protector… my love."

And finally… Tsuna realized…

There would always be room for selfishness…

TsunaruhimeTsunaruhimeTsunaruhimeTsunaruhimeTsunaruhimeTsunaruhimeTsunaruhime

Author's End Rants: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TSUNA!! Anyway, as of now, this is only a one-shot. And I'll apologize to anyone who thinks that the smut was not that good. First time with a male-to-female smut. –grins- Anyway! Hope you liked it nonetheless.


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